Daring to believe the impossible

I had to chuckle when I came across this quote in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Like the Queen and Joe Dispenza (see earlier post), I am daring to believe that I can create my own reality and bring even the impossible into my life...preferably *before* breakfast.

***

`I can't believe that!' said Alice.

`Can't you?' the Queen said in a pitying tone. `Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.'

Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said `one can't believe impossible things.'

`I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I Create My Own Reality

I'm exploring the fact that if I create my own reality then I can also change it. In the process of having this thought, I reminded myself of Joe Dispenza's words from the hit film "What the BLEEP Do We Know?" His comments are reprinted in entirety below:

"I wake up in the morning and I consciously create my day the way I want it to happen. Now sometimes, because my mind is examining all the things that I need to get done, it takes me a little bit to settle down and get to the point of where I'm actually intentionally creating my day. But here's the thing: When I create my day and out of nowhere little things happen that are so unexplainable, I know that they are the process or the result of my creation.

And the more I do that, the more I build a neural net in my brain that I accept that that's possible. (This) gives me the power and the incentive to do it the next day.

"So if we're consciously designing our destiny, and if we're consciously from a spiritual standpoint throwing in with the idea that our thoughts can affect our reality or affect our life -- because reality equals life -- then I have this little pact that I have when I create my day. I say, 'I'm taking this time to create my day and I'm infecting the quantum field. Now if (it) is in fact the observer's watching me the whole time that I'm doing this and there is a spiritual aspect to myself, then show me a sign today that you paid attention to any one of these things that I created, and bring them in a way that I won't expect, so I'm as surprised at my ability to be able to experience these things. And make it so that I have no doubt that it's come from you,' and so I live my life, in a sense, all day long thinking about being a genius or thinking about being the glory and the power of God or thinking about being unconditional love.

"I'll use living as a genius, for example. And as I do that during parts of the day, I'll have thoughts that are so amazing, that cause a chill in my physical body, that have come from nowhere. But then I remember that that thought has an associated energy that's produced an effect in my physical body. Now that's a subjective experience, but the truth is is that I don't think that unless I was creating my day to have unlimited thought, that that thought would come."

***

I'm starting small, but I'm intentionally asking to see things in my daily life. And, the thing is, that I'm seeing them. This makes me think that I should move onto bigger things. So, onto bigger things it is. Will keep you all posted. In the meantime, try the same experiment and let me know what you bring into your worlds.

The Mind's Resting Place

I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love, which was mentioned to me by my friend Margaret a few weeks ago. The excerpts she included in an email to me were so compelling and spot on that I rushed to the public library to read the book in its entirety. It's been just what I've needed.

The following passages resonated most with me:

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go" (p. 141).

***

"Instructions For Freedom

1. Life's metaphors are God's instructions.

2. You have just climbed up and above the roof. There is nothing between you and the Infinite. Now, let go.

3. The day is ending. It's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.

4. You wish for resolution was a prayer. Your being here is God's response. Let go, and watch the stars come out -- on the outside and on the inside.

5. With all your heart, ask for grace, and let go.

6. With all your heart, forgive him, FORGIVE YOURSELF, and let him go.

7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering. Then, let go.

8. Watch the heat of the day pass into the cool night. Let go.

9. When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go.

10. When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy. " (pp. 184-85)

***

Meditation Balinese Style

"You can do Yoga, but Yoga too hard. Why they always look so serious in Yoga? You make serious face like this, you scare away good energy. To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver. Practice tonight...Not to hurry, not to try too hard. Too serious, you make you sick. You can calling the good energy with a smile. All finish for today. Let your conscience be your guide" (Ketut Liyer to Elizabeth Gilbert, p. 231).

***

"He keeps his body strong, he says, by meditating every night before sleep and by pulling the healthy energy of the universe into his core. He says that the human body is made of nothing more or less than the five elements of all creation -- water (apa), fire (tejo), wind (bayu), sky (akasa) and earth (pritiwi) -- and all you have to do is concentrate on this reality during meditation and you will receive energy from all these sources and you will stay strong..."The microcosm becomes the macrocosm. You--microcosm--will become same as universe--macrocosm" (p. 242).

***

"The child is taught from earliest consciousness that she has these four brothers with her in the world wherever she goes, and that they will always look after her. The brothers inhabit the four virtues a person needs in order to be safe and happy in life: intelligence, friendship, strength and (I love this one) poetry. The brothers can be called upon in any critical situation for rescue and assistance. When you die, your four spirit brothers collect your soul and bring you to heaven" (p. 251).

***

"My thoughts turn to something I read once, something the Zen Buddhists believe. They say that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well -- the future tree itself, which wants to badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. In this respect, say the Zens, it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born" (p. 329).

***

So, I sit here this Monday afternoon asking myself what I really, really want out of life. I sit here, thinking about it and find myself growing so joyful I want to dance and jump and sing because I know that I am pulling these desires out of the void and into my life. I know that these future blessings are coming and I sit with anticipation, even through some lingering heartache, and smile.

Bits of poetry and prayer

The Moss Garden

Somewhere outside Kyoto's line, she said,
they stumbled across the famous garden of moss,
the smallish sign so plain it could have been
overlooked. No temple, only moss.
So they entered the walkway with little expectation,
the silence creeping in, much like expectation.

Instead of leading them to the garden directly,
two monks had led them to a different task,
requested they copy three hundred characters,
the ink and paper set down for the task.
And this, too, was a practiced form of prayer,
left behind for those who had forgotten prayer.

The monks left brushes, ink, and bowls of water.
They asked the seekers to write, to pray. But prayer,
any prayer, wasn't easy. The brush and ink,
the doubting hand, made not for simply prayer.
And even as I write this, I do not want to pray.
This story changes nothing; I do not want to pray.

~ C. Dale Young

***

Sometimes it is hard for me to pray. It is hard to bring myself to my knees and present my supplications to God. I like to believe that God already knows my heart's desires and is in the process of addressing them, which allows me, then, to believe that even thinking my prayers is enough.

However, I'm not sure I buy that argument anymore. Seems like a passive way to go about life, doesn't it? If I cannot use my own voice to ask, then how can I receive?

I've been meditating on the point of prayer recently and the following came to me.

Perhaps the point of prayer is that it develops the art of asking. Perhaps prayer is really just learning to become comfortable with having needs and vocalizing them. Perhaps prayer is acceptance of our vulnerabilities and the acknowledgment that we all need a little assistance in our lives from time to time. Perhaps it is an invitation for someone to lend a hand or a hug or a tissue. Perhaps we pray to know we are not alone.

It is likely an amalgamation of the above thoughts. It is also most likely a reminder that I must cultivate a rich prayer life so that when my answers begin to arrive, they will find fertile ground in which to grow and expand.

Writings which made me pause

Recently, I came across the following two passages, taken from two separate works. Each of them made me pause and reconsider how I see life around me. The first is a reminder of an old and familiar teaching -- this concept of personal greed and how it can enslave us rather than free us. The second reminded me of the human connection. In this fast paced world, even the fruit we eat was harvested by someone's hands. Someone out there toiled to bring me momentary enjoyment and nourishment. It's just another reminder, then, to live life with an attitude of gratitude.

"Once you start to see through the myth of status, possessions, and unlimited consumption as a path to happiness, you'll find that you have all kinds of freedom and time. It's like a deal you can make with the universe: I'll give up greed for freedom. Then you can start putting your time to good use."
~ David Edwards, "Nothing To Lose But Our Illusions"

***

"Strawberries are too delicate to be picked by machine. The perfectly ripe ones even bruise at too heavy a human touch. It hit her then that every strawberry she had ever eaten -- every piece of fruit -- had been picked by calloused human hands. Every piece of toast with jelly represented someone's knees, someone's aching back and hips, someone with a bandanna on her wrist to wipe away the sweat. Why had no one told her about this before?
~ Alison Luterman, "What They Came For"

It's all about the journey

Trekking through the Beartooths (armed with bear spray, of course!), June 2007.

A former student of mine, Aly (now a dear and treasured friend) reminded me recently that life "is all about the journey." I had to chuckle as I read her email because she's right -- it is! And, boy, let me tell you, I am on a JOURNEY! I like to think that we, fellow travelers, are akin to medieval pilgrims in that we seem to acquire little tokens (and sometimes bruises) along the way to remind us of where we've been and where we're headed. The journey theme has a secondary meaning between Aly and me, as it's a running joke for anyone who has completed the Humanistic Studies Program at Saint Mary's College -- a rigorous two-year "journey" through the landscapes of the human soul -- Greek/Roman era to the present. I completed it in 1999 but I had the great honor of teaching in the department between 2002-2004 after I finished my Master's degree at Yale. It seems that the "great books" we moved through always had some character or person traversing great landscapes and suffering setbacks along the way.

This theme of journey, then, has been much on my mind as of late because it appears that I'm now on a very different life path than the one I thought I was on a few months ago. I'm learning to become "okay" with this change. I can't say that it's been entirely easy but I suppose this is just another little token in my walk through the world. In an attempt to understand some of this change, I've turned towards the writings of Jerry and Esther Hicks and their Teachings of Abraham series.

The lesson lately has been to move one's emotional set point (whatever you're at emotionally) up the vibrational scale until you reach joy, which pulsates at a higher energy vibration and more easily allows you to receive all which is being held for you in emotional escrow.

To put it more plainly, if I feel sadness or anger, I try to move up the emotional ladder towards frustration because that's one step closer to the feeling of joy. The closer I get to joy, the more in tune I am with what I want AND, therefore, am that much more likely to attain it because my energy will more closely match the energy of those things, places, people, etc...

What I haven't heard Esther or Jerry Hicks or even Abraham say is that this process is a whole lot harder than it seems. I feel as if there are days when I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. This used to bother me; however, now I have come to realize that it's okay if I don't reach all my desires today because I know that I am in the process of moving towards them. They are within my reach and I know that one day I will dance in joy and find even greater abundance in my life.

My point is that the journey continues and with it comes fresh insights into myself, my thoughts and my emotions. As painful as this can be, I have to say, "how cool is that?"

Silence

My new schedule, which finds me working nights, is bringing me gifts I didn't even know I needed. Perhaps most needed was the gift of silence. Silence finds me nearly every step of my day and night. The world, even in busy DC, is quieted and this new way of witnessing the world is refreshing me in powerful ways.

I feel more in tune to what is occurring around me and pay more attention to subtleties a day-time schedule did not easily afford. For instance, I now hear birdsong the moment it begins. I see the first hints of blush as the dawn makes its entrances into the world each morning. There is no chatter, no nervous energy, no manic quality to my workplace anymore. With the night comes peace. I feel great relief.

Now, I have more time to dedicate towards watching the moon move across the sky...to my own thoughts and meditations. Distractions do not easily find me. I feel more awake on this schedule and, oddly, more energized...more in tune with Source.

And, while I sleep much of the day away, I make a point to bathe myself in sunshine every morning and await the gifts which I know will be shown to me.

For those of you who know me, you'll know that I feel an affinity to the Great Blue Heron, who has always shown itself to me throughout my life. If I have a totem animal, it is this graceful, solitary, silent bird. Better still...they DANCE!

I found this stunning image of the mating dance of the Great Blue Heron at Eye Fetch Photography

Since I began my new rotation at work, I have had the great joy of seeing this bird every morning for the past week and in numbers larger than I have ever seen in one day in my entire life.

For example, on Thursday morning, I was gifted with seeing 23 herons within three hours! At times, there were as many as 5 flying together. And, in each instance, I felt compelled to look up from my work and out into the world and was gifted by their presence. Sometimes all I had to do was to see the image in my mind before I saw a heron in the sky a few moments later.

It's just one of the several examples of synchronicity
which has found me lately.

The challenge of those with the Great Blue Heron totem is to find balance in their lives - to learn how to balance their own energy and hold it when confronted by other energies, whether of people or places.

For some time now, I have not understood what brought me to DC, however, I know now that this is a lesson I must master during this stage of the journey. I am in the process of mastering it and await with anticipation for the future gifts and blessings this process will bring.

Quotes and Pictures

Me in Yellowstone, May 2007.

I came across some quotes recently which made me pause and I wanted to share them here with you.

"As the Dalai Lama has put it, "Spiritual practice involves, on the one hand, acting out of concern for others' well being. On the other hand, it entails transforming ourselves so that we become more readily disposed to do so."

Taking in the sky in Hildesheim, Germany, August 2006.

"When nothing is for sure, we remain alert, perennially on our toes. It is more exciting not to know which bush the rabbit is hiding behind than to behave as though we knew everything."
~ Carlos Castaneda

The Importance of What is Not

In my continued reading of the Tao Te Ching, I came across Verse 11, which is entitled "The Importance of What is Not." I'm including the whole text below because of its deep meaning.

We join thirty spokes
to the hub of a wheel,
yet it's the center hole
that drives the chariot.

We shape clay
to birth a vessel,
yet it's the hollow within
that makes it useful.

We chisel doors and windows
to construct a room,
yet it's the inner space
that makes it livable.

Thus do we
create what is
to use what is not.

***

This leaves me with an important question -- is it only when our inner space is hollowed out of "stuff" that we are ready for others? If the the Tao Te Ching is correct, then have I created something which is but will use what is not?

Does this translate to mean that it's not what I am creating which is important but what was already there that is more important? And, is it only in the construction of something that you realize what was there all along? For example, the inner space of a room was always there but it wasn't defined as an inner space until doors and windows were constructed around it.

So, what does that mean about love, then? If the love is constant, can outside constructions really change it? If one was to remove the construction, wouldn't the love remain? What does that imply about our deep and meaningful human relationships with those we love? Are our constructions getting in the way of what is? Is it upon this realization that we must utilize what is not?

Raising Vibrational Energy

I have had much occasion to be still lately, and I find that it is a very rich practice. In these moments, when I am at my calmest state of being, I hear a repeated message: "Raise your vibrations."

It follows me wherever I go and with whatever I do. It's such a persistent little message that I have no choice but to address it.

However, it's not a new message. It's a very, very old one and it's repeating itself again, which is a reminder that I need to clean up my vibrational energy or energetic footprint.

I have to work harder at this in DC than I had to in Montana and, while this is not without its grumbles, I find that I am growing at a faster rate here because I have so much more opportunity for growth. Simply put, I am challenged more often.

Still, I know that I need to raise my energy if I am ever to make great spiritual leaps, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing it. A change in my job *has* brought great relief and with it, all seems to be falling into place. Miracles happen every day the calmer I am, the more receptive I am to the obvious messages and gifts all around me.

For example, even though I am now on night shift, I am coming to appreciate it because my world is silent and with that silence comes great self-reflection, even on the job. Also, I have a pretty excellent vantage point now, and it's provided me with such spectacular treasures. Last night, I watched the pretty half moon move through the horizon and upon the dawn, I saw seven blue herons break through the mist and fog. It was pretty awesome.

So, I know that I am doing something correctly because messages are coming quickly and always playfully. Still, I have a hunch there are even more I am not receiving. So, I ask you, how do I continue to raise my energetic footprint? Thoughts? Please share!

Highway Home

My friend, Chris, a very gifted musician, sent me this video link of his new song today, and I wanted to post it here. I found it so moving and even more soothing. I'll let his description do the talking, but I couldn't resist highlighting words that struck a cord in me:

The Highway Home

The second printing of The Highway Home

comes at a time of stepping forth in sync with

what appears to be a collective transformation.

The call of the times is for those who have

suffered and found healing from the imbalance

of our culture to bring their voices, creativity,

messages and medicines to as many as possible.

While the particulars of each individual’s

gifts are as unique as each individual life,

it is correct to say that all share a holistic

knowledge of humanity, nature, the Earth and

the cosmos. Holistic means whole in the

deepest sense: physically, psychologically,

ecologically and spiritually.

Our better future is along holistic pathways

that mirror the mystery, generosity, majesty,

complexity and steady expansion of our universe.

The New Earth is emerging in our midst, both

within us and around us. We are asked to

acknowledge and nurture It when we perceive It.

We are asked to raise our voices against

the narrowness of perception, imagination,

and creativity that was the hallmark of what

is passing away. We are all in this together,

each with a part to play. Now are the days to

be heroic.

It is Time.

***

Ah-HO!

Tao Te Ching

Walking through fields of loss, I find I sit down often and cry because I don't know what else to do. The rate at which I am finally beginning to process events which have occurred has almost unhinged me in the last few days because the sorrow is becoming almost unbearable.

And while I have other emotions which are surfacing (and which I'm told is normal), it is sorrow which is most constant, especially on a rainy morning like today's.

The Tao Te Ching tells us in verse 23:

When we completely lose our way, we become one with loss.
When we become one with loss, loss embraces us.

Publicly I may appear stoic, but privately I grieve on my knees, on the floor; prostrate. I can't hold myself anymore. It is in these moments when loss embraces me and the floor or Mother Earth holds me. It may not be what I need, but it leaves me feeling supported, even for just a moment.

The gift of receiving

I've been going for very long runs over the past week with my friend, Lynn. Often, as the road or trail stretches out before us, we find ourselves chatting about matters of spirituality, quantum physics and God. Yesterday was no exception. The theme of yesterday's run was "the gift of receiving" or at least becoming comfortable with the idea.

We concluded that women of our age, and perhaps even those younger than us, are taught no...trained to become Wonder Women -- that we can do and have anything we want and we can achieve it all by ourselves. No help needed, thank you very much. Take it away Destiny's Child.

As one of these self-professed and rather burnt out Wonder Women, I ask from where did this silly nonsense come?

What's worse...if you've already achieved the reputation for being a Wonder Woman, then it can be hard to shake, even by those who profess to love you.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being Wonder Woman. It's a persona I am trying to retire. The shiny utility belt, rocking cool "magic lasso" and those flashy headbands...they've all lost their appeal. And, just for the record, not even Diana Prince could sustain Wonder Woman 24/7.

Now, while Kelly means "Warrior" in Gaelic, it doesn't mean that I want to be one all the time. I certainly don't want to feel the expectation of being one during rough times. It's a lonely role. You're expected, especially by those who are in need and who say they love you, to carry them when they cannot carry themselves...to have the patience of Job when your own heart is breaking, and to "rise above" trying situations.

Ad infinitum Ad nauseum.

I don't think anyone wants to see how tough this can really be on Wonder Woman, especially those who are leaning on her -- she's just supposed to handle it perfectly and without complaint. How can she tell them their own needs when they can't even hear them or, even worse, consider/validate them.




You know what? Maybe Wonder Woman just wants a break. I mean, look at the above picture -- she clearly needs a day at the spa! In the above image, we have Super Man and Company begging her to come back and save the world. They're resorting to language like "The Justice League (said group) needs you" (call to address need in their terms and without consulting her first).

What these other superheroes don't realize is that by presenting their needs to her in this fashion, they leave her little choice but to accept them, denying her the right to feel vulnerable. They silence her. They assume she will just cooperate because of this extreme need. She's obviously trying to make her voice heard but I don't think she's really getting anywhere.

If the above picture is any evidence of her plight, it shows an attempt to use her voice. She clearly doesn't want to give anything to the Justice League right now because, as she said, she "can't". She's also in distress (there are tears on her cheeks) and I doubt it's because of those pointy boots of hers.

It's quite possible that she needs to speak her truth and not have it misinterpreted by others.



I think she wants to re-discover her vulnerability, which can be tricky after so much time spent in Wonder Woman's shoes. Maybe in discovering her vulnerability and stepping out of the boots, it will encourage others to rise above and find strength they didn't even know they had. Maybe then some of the imbalance can be righted.

Perhaps then she can truly receive.

A little wisdom from DailyOM

This piece of wisdom from DailyOM was sent to me by my friend, Margaret. It's so fitting. Thank you.

The Heart Of Humanity
Sitting With Our Sadness

The last thing most of us want to hear or think about when we are dealing with profound feelings of sadness is that deep learning can be found in this place. In the midst of our pain, we often feel picked on by life, or overwhelmed by the enormity of some loss, or simply too exhausted to try and examine the situation. We may feel far too disappointed and angry to look for anything resembling a bright side to our suffering. Still, somewhere in our hearts, we know that we will eventually emerge from the depths into the light of greater awareness. Remembering this truth, no matter how elusive it seems, can help.

The other thing we often would rather not hear when we are dealing with intense sadness is that the only way out of it is through it. Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and the faith that we will come out the other side. With courage, we can allow ourselves to cycle through the grieving process with full inner permission to experience it. This is a powerful teaching that sadness has to offer us—the ability to surrender and the acceptance of change go hand in hand.

Another teaching of sadness is compassion for others who are in pain, because it is only in feeling our own pain that we can really understand and allow for someone else’s. Sadness is something we all go through, and we all learn from it and are deepened by its presence in our lives. While our own individual experiences of sadness carry with them unique lessons, the implications of what we learn are universal. The wisdom we gain from going through the process of feeling loss, heartbreak, or deep disappointment gives us access to the heart of humanity.

***

Another way to put it is as Sir Winston Churchill once said, "If you find yourself in hell, keep going." I think the trick is not to get stuck along the way and some do. I think what I need to do is to care for myself now. I need to move within and I plan to take the rest of 2008 to do it. Wish me luck...I think I may need it.

Composure

Looking upon a lake up in the Beartooths.

Composure apparently means "calmness or repose especially of mind, bearing or appearance". Well, at least that's what Merriam Webster says. I am still trying to draw my own meaning, especially since it is being sorely tested of late.

Is Shunryu Suzuki Roshi correct when he says that "composure" is "to find composure in the face that everything changes"? It feels that way these days.

"Composure" can also mean "putting one's mind together" but is different than "equanimity" which means "with even mind."

Semantics aside, what I know is that I'm trying to regain my composure in the face of great change. Change so deep that I don't know if I will ever be the same again.

These days, I find myself gazing out and trying to see what's now before me given what is now behind me.

Sitting by my tree at Holland Lake, February 2007.

Heron Dance #248

The latest from Rob MacIver...seemed fitting for what I'm feeling right now.

A New Dawn

One spring morning sixteen years ago, at a time of great turmoil in my life,
I saw the sun rise up over a marsh at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean.

As the sun rose, and the subtle hues of the marsh turned soft pastel—
Blue and red and yellow and green and brown, all shifting—
And the sun shone brighter and brighter,
The colors turned sepia for a few seconds.

A Great Blue Heron rose up from the edge of the marsh.
A large bird, a mythic bird, its wings obscuring and being obscured
By the sun and the sun bouncing off the water behind.
I knew my life would change, and that I would live before long
In a much larger world, a brighter world, than my world then,
which was one of Wall Street, business and despair.

That larger world was always there,
But that sunrise and that bird brought it into my life and my heart.
For a second, what I thought I knew, I didn’t know
And what I didn’t know, I knew.

***

There's been so much dramatic change in my life this past week that I don't know what to make of it. What I do know though is that my life is changing course. I'm not sure where I'm headed now, but I know I will find my way. I always have.

New thoughts from others

Lover of books that I am, I could not resist giving you all some treasured quotes from Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson, which I just finished reading and which focuses on the importance of education for women.

"After attending a conference of development experts in Bangladesh, Mortenson decided CAI schools should educate students only up through the fifth grade and focus on increasing the enrollment of girls. 'Once you educate boys, they tend to leave the villages and go search for work in the cities,' Mortenson explains. 'But the girls stay home, become leaders in the community, and pass on what they've learned. If you really want to change a culture, to empower women, improve basic hygiene and health care, and fight high rates of infant mortality, the answer is to educate girls" (p. 209).

"'If the Taliban is gone, why do you still wear the burkha?' Bergman asked. 'I'm a conservative lady, ' Uzra said, 'and it suits me. Also, I feel safer in it. In fact, I insist that all my lady teachers wear the burkha in the bazaar. We don't want to give anyone an excuse to interfere with our girls' studies.' 'But don't you feel, I don't know, oppressed, having to look out through that little slit?' Bergman, an emancipated woman from San Francisco, asked. Uzra smiled broadly for the first time since Mortensen met her, and as she freed herself from her burkha, he was struck by how beautiful she still was at fifty despite the hardships she'd endured. 'We women of Afghanistan see the light through education, ' Uzra replied. 'Not through this or that hole in a piece of cloth.'" (p. 289)

"Jahan took a breath and composed herself. 'When I was a little sort of girl and I would see a gentleman or a lady with good, clean clothes I would run away and hide my face. But after I graduated from the Korphe School, I felt a big change in my life. I felt I was clear and clean and could go before anybody and discuss anything. And now that I am already in Skardu, I feel that anything is possible. I don't want to be just a health worker. I want to be such a woman that I can start a hospital and be an executive, and look over all the health problems of all the women in the Braldu. I want to become a very famous woman of this area...I want to be a...'Superlady,' she said, grinning defiantly, daring anyone, any man, to tell her she couldn't."

***

I remain convinced that education is the best way to stand on your own two feet and face the world. I applaud Mortensen and his work. Kudos to you!

A New Perspective

Sitting within a petrified redwood tree in Yellowstone (June 2007)

Things have been very challenging as of late, and I feel lost and confused. Still, I was reminded tonight that sometimes you need to rise above your situation in order to see clearly.


Thanks, CJ. I needed that.