Sticking It Out

This from a recent Heron Dance:

Heron Dance #240

So much of what really matters in life comes with sticking with it and allowing things to come at their own pace. You stick with what really matters through the dark days, and light comes again. The things you stick with through the winter are the things that are most important in your life. Sticking with those things offers a rich experience of life.

***

I feel like I've been in the winter for a very long time. I know spring is just around the corner and that what I'm doing now will bear fruit in the future; however, it comes at great cost to my own personal happiness.

I also feel that this job is teaching me something powerful -- I'm becoming a better thinker and writer and I am gaining empathy for others where I work. These lessons will help me become a better teacher, Ph.D. candidate and healer in the near future. In fact, I almost feel like I could use another year in my work environment before I launch myself back in a Ph.D. program because of the training and practice I'm getting.

Still, on days like today, I want to leave this all behind for the wilds of Montana. I took this job to finish something I started long ago and within a year I should be able to walk away with that lesson completed. Still, does this internal knowing mean I should stick with it? Or should I eschew everything and move to a town which feeds me?

I'm really not sure.