Why I'm Voting for Barack

I've spend the past several weeks reading the two books which Barack wrote (The Audacity of Hope & Dreams of My Father) and came away impressed with his intelligence, his ability to convey complex ideas easily, his honesty and humility. The whole time I was reading his books, I kept thinking to myself, "Self, I want this man to become President. I feel like he will make a difference in office and I want to support him in that endeavor."

Given this, I'd like to share with you some quotes from The Audacity of Hope which captured my attention and made me read his words with gusto. There's so many more quotes, however, to quote them all, I'd need to cite the entirety of both his books.

"The same goes for competence. Nothing brightens my day more than dealing with somebody, anybody, who takes pride in their work or goes the extra mile -- an accountant, a plumber, a three-star general, the person on the other end of the phone who actually seems to want to solve your problem. My encounters with such competence seem more sporadic lately; I seem to spend more time looking for somebody in the store to help me or waiting for the deliveryman to show. Other people must notice this; it makes us all cranky, and those of us in government, no less than in business, ignore such perceptions at their own peril" (p. 60).

"Like most of my values, I learned about empathy from my mother. She disdained any kind of cruelty or thoughtlessness or abuse of power, whether it expressed itself in the form of racial prejudice or bullying in the schoolyard or workers being underpaid. Whenever she saw even a hint of such behavior in me she would look me square in the eyes and ask, 'How do you think that would make you feel?'" (p. 66).

"So let's be clear. The rich in America have little to complain about. Between 1971 and 2001, while the median wage and salary income of the overage worker showed literally no gain, the income of the top hundredth of a percent went up almost 500 percent...I simply believe that those of us who have benefited most from this new economy can best afford to shoulder the obligation of ensuring every American child has a chance for that same success. And perhaps I possess a certain Midwestern sensibility that I inherited from my mother and her parents, a sensibility that Warren Buffett seems to share: that at a certain point one has enough, that you can derive as much pleasure from a Picasso hanging in a museum as from one that's hanging in your den, that you can get an awfully good meal in a restaurant for less than twenty dollars, and that once your drapes cost more than the average American's yearly salary, then you can afford to pay a bit more in taxes" (pp. 197-98).

There's much more to be said here; however, I think it's best if you discover Obama for yourself. You won't regret reading these two books -- powerful and thought-provoking.

Finding Meaning in Life

Last night, I had a powerful conversation with my friend, Olin, about life and how to find meaning in it.

It boiled down to the following two questions:

1. What is my mission in life?
2. What do I need in my life in order to complete #1 to the
best of my ability?

For example, if someone's mission in life is to help troubled children, then it doesn't matter where in the world one does that. However, if the goal is to help troubled children and you find yourself in an environment which doesn't provide what you need to best help those children, then you are doing everyone, including yourself, a grave disservice.

I offer this because I've been thinking lately about my life's mission and if my current work is in line with it. It's not. My mission, I've realized, is to help others become their best possible selves -- physically, emotionally, spiritually. I've tackled this mission through teaching, which was a step in the right direction but limiting because the job's confines don't allow me to work with the entirety of the person sitting within my classroom.

I've also learned that in order to best help others see their own gifts and talents, I need to be well rested, energized and live in a positive, intellectually/spiritually/emotionally nuturing environment. DC ain't that!

My current work does not touch either one of my life's goals, and it's time to change that before my environment changes me.

Olin pointed out that if a human being is going to thrive in the world, then he or she needs to find meaning in life. If you can't find meaning in your suffering, then it's just going to diminish and kill you. He also reminded me of the quote: "That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." And I giggled at his suggestion for an addendum "...but you have to find meaning in those hellish times."

This morning I finished watched a powerful documentary about the Iraq War entitled "No End in Sight". It was haunting and fascinating, and I was riveted by what I saw and heard. During the documentary, they interviewed a few soldiers about their experiences in Iraq. One interview stood out in particular because it so closely followed the theme of my conversation with Olin. Army Gunner Hugo Gonzalez stated that he hoped that the situation in Iraq improves so that one day he can look back on it and find meaning to his current suffering (loss of some vision, brain trauma, post traumatic migranes, memories, etc...).

I don't know from where this desire for meaning comes but it seems an universal one. Perhaps it's to give us each a sense of purpose for showing up on Earth. Perhaps it's because we want to know that we matter in this world...that our actions can and do affect others. I still don't have any answers.

Olin also asked me to consider if I can find meaning in my current work. If I can't, he wanted me to ask whether I really needed to be involved anymore. Powerful questions, and I know the answer.

So, the good news is that I've correctly identified the problem and can label the "what". The uncertainty now lies in the resolution of the problem...the "okay...what now?"

I'm tackling it one day at a time, confident that the resolution is close at hand. I know it involves a move away from here and probably to the Northwest, and my deepest desire is that it returns me to Missoula.

A Stronger Woman

It's been a while since I've watched any television much less music videos. However, when my friend, Natasha, sent me Jewel's video "Stronger Woman", I fell in love with her message and knew I had to post it.

Do check it out:


Here are the lyrics:

I guess you could say I'm one of those girls
That's always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it's better than crying
I'm worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I'm not welcome here
Just till he's horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean

But not tonight
'Cause come the morning light, oh
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me

I'm going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no,
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me

Light bulbs buzz,
I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I've lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings

Well tonight, I'm going to be
The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh

I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman

This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,

Staying Calm Amidst Chaos

This evening I took time to run/walk the towpath near where I live. Over the course of several miles, I contemplated issues of spirituality, organized religion, and general philosophies on life - namely, how to bring these elements into my life effectively and with intention.

One of the questions I mulled over was how to maintain calm in the midst of chaos. What sparked this dialogue was this feeling within me that I no longer possess control of my life. Of course, that is merely an illusion. What I tried to articulate to a friend, though not very well, was the realization that I'm in discordance with my own spirit.

What I'm slowly coming to consciousness about is that I'm doing things which are not in line with my heart's desires. I'm working a job which drains me, living in an area which doesn't feed me, feeling pulled into patterns of behavior which are not my own and leave me feeling emotionally zapped.

My comment to a friend was that I believe I'm creating my own "hell" by falling into the illusion that I am trapped or stuck here. My hunch is that there are avenues of exit all around me but because my mental construct is closed, I prevent myself from seeing them.

But how to open them? Consider Einstein's famous quote, "You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created" and it was suggested that I look for spiritual solutions to some of my life's dilemmas. (Just as a caveat, my life is full of blessings and is moving towards much good; however, there are areas in which I would like to see more creativity and passion, namely, my career and natural environment.)

After a discussion of what I enjoyed about organized religions, especially Catholicism (mysticism and a deep sense of history and communal activity) and what fed me (prayer, meditation and community), I arrived at the decision to spend more time in meditation, at least twice a week. In these meditations, I will work to calm my mind, discuss principles of Buddhist Dharma and deepen my connection to my spirit and those around me.

This doesn't solve everything right now, but it is a step in the right direction. Whatever it will be, I know it feels right because my heart opens and says, "Thank You."

A Window into Montana

This picture was taken by my dear friend, Carl, on his way to an early morning cross-country ski excursion.

This picture perfectly encapsulates all that I love about the state: mountains, big skies, sleepy farmlands and the stillness of the land.

Only 3 months away!!! Can't wait. Thanks again, CJ.

Quote on hope

I finished reading The Great Tree of Avalon: Shadows on the Stars by T.A. Barron this morning, and I was struck by this quote on hope.

What I liked about Barron's words is that hope is an important aspect to life; however, at some point, one must ACT upon it before it goes out.

"Hope is a spark that blows on the wind. If it does not soon find kindling to burn, it goes out forever" (p. 258).

Hope. It seems to be the new buzz word as of late. I welcome your thoughts on it, as it's such a rich word filled with so much.

Words of wisdom from tonight's yoga class

I received the following wisdom in tonight's Bikram class:

Master your mind.

Master your body.

Master the world.

I think my teacher is right. When we control our minds, we are capable of anything. When we release our attachment to people, outcomes, our future, we become lighter and happier. When we prevent our minds from slipping into delusion, we find spiritual freedom.

Along these lines, I once heard that 90% of the thoughts we have today are ones we had yesterday.

Imagine what this world would be like if everyday each one of us had 100% new thoughts.

So, as I journey forth, I continue to train my mind, open my heart and bring myself closer to new ways of thinking and being.

It's not easy. Sometimes, like in yoga, I slip and fall. The trick is getting back up, breathing and finding the balance which lives within but which my mind sometimes obscures.

Namaste.