Like others, I find that my life has been a whirlwind as of late, and I'm having trouble trying not to get swept away by the increased pace of things.
In an effort to anchor myself and to prepare for a yoga teacher preparation course (the right studio is still to be selected, of course, but I know it's out there waiting for me to discover it), I've dipped back into Bikram Yoga. I've gone 9 of the last 10 days, and I'm feeling more limber and flexible with each passing day, especially in my back. I find that the room's temperature (hovering somewhere between 105-115F, depending on the number of bodies in the room) delivers the perfect opportunity for powerful stretching and deep releasing.
I'm also finding that as I ease into the postures, especially those involving the hips (where women traditionally store stress), emotions I never even knew I had begin to bubble up from deep recesses inside my body, forcing me to deal with them. Sometimes I cry in class for no good reason, at least not any that my rational mind can decipher.
With all the change occurring in my life (finding a new apartment, settling into life here, gearing up for an overseas trip, finishing my on-the-job training) in the near future, I find myself thinking about who I am, what I'm about and where I want to go more and more often.
What comes up are the following:
1. I miss Missoula, in particular, and Montana, in general. I could breathe there and found peace -- two things which are missing in my life these days.
2. I need more time to myself to tend to my own inner health and spirituality. There seems to be little time these days for me, something which I need to address sooner rather than later.
3. I'm OVERLY stressed out and seek balance. I know things are bad because I want to grab a teddy bear and run away. =)
4. I worry more than I should.
5. I giggle less than I should.
6. I really need a vacation!!!
7. I need to cultivate internal peace.
Sometimes just thinking about what I would like to do to ease my uneasiness these days overwhelms me. I often don't know how to "fix" all these things.
Life in Montana was easier and more flexible; however, I suppose that if one can breathe through deep stretching (of boundaries and comfort zones), then one can reap benefits which never seemed possible.
At least that's how I'm choosing to think about it these days.