It's been a while since I've watched any television much less music videos. However, when my friend, Natasha, sent me Jewel's video "Stronger Woman", I fell in love with her message and knew I had to post it.
Do check it out:
Here are the lyrics:
I guess you could say I'm one of those girls
That's always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it's better than crying
I'm worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I'm not welcome here
Just till he's horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean
But not tonight
'Cause come the morning light, oh
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no,
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me
Light bulbs buzz,
I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I've lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings
Well tonight, I'm going to be
The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman
This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Staying Calm Amidst Chaos
This evening I took time to run/walk the towpath near where I live. Over the course of several miles, I contemplated issues of spirituality, organized religion, and general philosophies on life - namely, how to bring these elements into my life effectively and with intention.
One of the questions I mulled over was how to maintain calm in the midst of chaos. What sparked this dialogue was this feeling within me that I no longer possess control of my life. Of course, that is merely an illusion. What I tried to articulate to a friend, though not very well, was the realization that I'm in discordance with my own spirit.
What I'm slowly coming to consciousness about is that I'm doing things which are not in line with my heart's desires. I'm working a job which drains me, living in an area which doesn't feed me, feeling pulled into patterns of behavior which are not my own and leave me feeling emotionally zapped.
But how to open them? Consider Einstein's famous quote, "You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created" and it was suggested that I look for spiritual solutions to some of my life's dilemmas. (Just as a caveat, my life is full of blessings and is moving towards much good; however, there are areas in which I would like to see more creativity and passion, namely, my career and natural environment.)
After a discussion of what I enjoyed about organized religions, especially Catholicism (mysticism and a deep sense of history and communal activity) and what fed me (prayer, meditation and community), I arrived at the decision to spend more time in meditation, at least twice a week. In these meditations, I will work to calm my mind, discuss principles of Buddhist Dharma and deepen my connection to my spirit and those around me.
This doesn't solve everything right now, but it is a step in the right direction. Whatever it will be, I know it feels right because my heart opens and says, "Thank You."
One of the questions I mulled over was how to maintain calm in the midst of chaos. What sparked this dialogue was this feeling within me that I no longer possess control of my life. Of course, that is merely an illusion. What I tried to articulate to a friend, though not very well, was the realization that I'm in discordance with my own spirit.
What I'm slowly coming to consciousness about is that I'm doing things which are not in line with my heart's desires. I'm working a job which drains me, living in an area which doesn't feed me, feeling pulled into patterns of behavior which are not my own and leave me feeling emotionally zapped.
My comment to a friend was that I believe I'm creating my own "hell" by falling into the illusion that I am trapped or stuck here. My hunch is that there are avenues of exit all around me but because my mental construct is closed, I prevent myself from seeing them.
But how to open them? Consider Einstein's famous quote, "You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created" and it was suggested that I look for spiritual solutions to some of my life's dilemmas. (Just as a caveat, my life is full of blessings and is moving towards much good; however, there are areas in which I would like to see more creativity and passion, namely, my career and natural environment.)
After a discussion of what I enjoyed about organized religions, especially Catholicism (mysticism and a deep sense of history and communal activity) and what fed me (prayer, meditation and community), I arrived at the decision to spend more time in meditation, at least twice a week. In these meditations, I will work to calm my mind, discuss principles of Buddhist Dharma and deepen my connection to my spirit and those around me.
This doesn't solve everything right now, but it is a step in the right direction. Whatever it will be, I know it feels right because my heart opens and says, "Thank You."
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A Window into Montana
This picture was taken by my dear friend, Carl, on his way to an early morning cross-country ski excursion.
This picture perfectly encapsulates all that I love about the state: mountains, big skies, sleepy farmlands and the stillness of the land.
Only 3 months away!!! Can't wait. Thanks again, CJ.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Quote on hope
I finished reading The Great Tree of Avalon: Shadows on the Stars by T.A. Barron this morning, and I was struck by this quote on hope.
What I liked about Barron's words is that hope is an important aspect to life; however, at some point, one must ACT upon it before it goes out.
What I liked about Barron's words is that hope is an important aspect to life; however, at some point, one must ACT upon it before it goes out.
"Hope is a spark that blows on the wind. If it does not soon find kindling to burn, it goes out forever" (p. 258).Hope. It seems to be the new buzz word as of late. I welcome your thoughts on it, as it's such a rich word filled with so much.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Words of wisdom from tonight's yoga class
I received the following wisdom in tonight's Bikram class:
I think my teacher is right. When we control our minds, we are capable of anything. When we release our attachment to people, outcomes, our future, we become lighter and happier. When we prevent our minds from slipping into delusion, we find spiritual freedom.
Along these lines, I once heard that 90% of the thoughts we have today are ones we had yesterday.
Imagine what this world would be like if everyday each one of us had 100% new thoughts.
So, as I journey forth, I continue to train my mind, open my heart and bring myself closer to new ways of thinking and being.
It's not easy. Sometimes, like in yoga, I slip and fall. The trick is getting back up, breathing and finding the balance which lives within but which my mind sometimes obscures.
Namaste.
Master your mind.
Master your body.
Master the world.
I think my teacher is right. When we control our minds, we are capable of anything. When we release our attachment to people, outcomes, our future, we become lighter and happier. When we prevent our minds from slipping into delusion, we find spiritual freedom.
Along these lines, I once heard that 90% of the thoughts we have today are ones we had yesterday.
Imagine what this world would be like if everyday each one of us had 100% new thoughts.
So, as I journey forth, I continue to train my mind, open my heart and bring myself closer to new ways of thinking and being.
It's not easy. Sometimes, like in yoga, I slip and fall. The trick is getting back up, breathing and finding the balance which lives within but which my mind sometimes obscures.
Namaste.
Friday, March 14, 2008
A quote about self discovery
This past week I read Bliss Broyard's One Drop, which was her attempt to understand why her father, Anatole Broyard (the famous daily book critic for the New York Times), would spend his life passing as a white man though he was black.
What particularly impressed me about the book was her struggle to find herself in the midst of that news, as well as her careful study of Creole/New Orleans history and Greenwich Village in the 50s-60s.
I was also struck by the following quote because it highlighted for me the innate human struggle to find the "self", namely the questions revolving around who one is and why one is here. While I don't have the answers for myself just yet, I agree with Shirley below when she says that you cannot allow others to label you. You must find yourself within yourself.
What particularly impressed me about the book was her struggle to find herself in the midst of that news, as well as her careful study of Creole/New Orleans history and Greenwich Village in the 50s-60s.
I was also struck by the following quote because it highlighted for me the innate human struggle to find the "self", namely the questions revolving around who one is and why one is here. While I don't have the answers for myself just yet, I agree with Shirley below when she says that you cannot allow others to label you. You must find yourself within yourself.
"Shirley began to gather her things to go.
"But I don't know how to think of myself anymore," I persisted. "I don't know who I'm supposed to be."
"You're Bliss, that's who you are," she said, tugging on her jacket impatiently. "And the best thing you can do is to figure out what that means." She tapped her finger on the tabletop. "The minute you let other people label you, you let them take away your power." (Bliss Broyard, One Drop, p. 84.)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Yoga, yoga and more yoga
Like others, I find that my life has been a whirlwind as of late, and I'm having trouble trying not to get swept away by the increased pace of things.
In an effort to anchor myself and to prepare for a yoga teacher preparation course (the right studio is still to be selected, of course, but I know it's out there waiting for me to discover it), I've dipped back into Bikram Yoga. I've gone 9 of the last 10 days, and I'm feeling more limber and flexible with each passing day, especially in my back. I find that the room's temperature (hovering somewhere between 105-115F, depending on the number of bodies in the room) delivers the perfect opportunity for powerful stretching and deep releasing.
I'm also finding that as I ease into the postures, especially those involving the hips (where women traditionally store stress), emotions I never even knew I had begin to bubble up from deep recesses inside my body, forcing me to deal with them. Sometimes I cry in class for no good reason, at least not any that my rational mind can decipher.
With all the change occurring in my life (finding a new apartment, settling into life here, gearing up for an overseas trip, finishing my on-the-job training) in the near future, I find myself thinking about who I am, what I'm about and where I want to go more and more often.
What comes up are the following:
1. I miss Missoula, in particular, and Montana, in general. I could breathe there and found peace -- two things which are missing in my life these days.
2. I need more time to myself to tend to my own inner health and spirituality. There seems to be little time these days for me, something which I need to address sooner rather than later.
3. I'm OVERLY stressed out and seek balance. I know things are bad because I want to grab a teddy bear and run away. =)
4. I worry more than I should.
5. I giggle less than I should.
6. I really need a vacation!!!
7. I need to cultivate internal peace.
Sometimes just thinking about what I would like to do to ease my uneasiness these days overwhelms me. I often don't know how to "fix" all these things.
Life in Montana was easier and more flexible; however, I suppose that if one can breathe through deep stretching (of boundaries and comfort zones), then one can reap benefits which never seemed possible.
At least that's how I'm choosing to think about it these days.
In an effort to anchor myself and to prepare for a yoga teacher preparation course (the right studio is still to be selected, of course, but I know it's out there waiting for me to discover it), I've dipped back into Bikram Yoga. I've gone 9 of the last 10 days, and I'm feeling more limber and flexible with each passing day, especially in my back. I find that the room's temperature (hovering somewhere between 105-115F, depending on the number of bodies in the room) delivers the perfect opportunity for powerful stretching and deep releasing.
I'm also finding that as I ease into the postures, especially those involving the hips (where women traditionally store stress), emotions I never even knew I had begin to bubble up from deep recesses inside my body, forcing me to deal with them. Sometimes I cry in class for no good reason, at least not any that my rational mind can decipher.
With all the change occurring in my life (finding a new apartment, settling into life here, gearing up for an overseas trip, finishing my on-the-job training) in the near future, I find myself thinking about who I am, what I'm about and where I want to go more and more often.
What comes up are the following:
1. I miss Missoula, in particular, and Montana, in general. I could breathe there and found peace -- two things which are missing in my life these days.
2. I need more time to myself to tend to my own inner health and spirituality. There seems to be little time these days for me, something which I need to address sooner rather than later.
3. I'm OVERLY stressed out and seek balance. I know things are bad because I want to grab a teddy bear and run away. =)
4. I worry more than I should.
5. I giggle less than I should.
6. I really need a vacation!!!
7. I need to cultivate internal peace.
Sometimes just thinking about what I would like to do to ease my uneasiness these days overwhelms me. I often don't know how to "fix" all these things.
Life in Montana was easier and more flexible; however, I suppose that if one can breathe through deep stretching (of boundaries and comfort zones), then one can reap benefits which never seemed possible.
At least that's how I'm choosing to think about it these days.
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