Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Musings and Poems and Travels and Tears

When the month of November began, I had no idea that (happily) I would be offered a trip to Peru and that (sadly) my grandfather would die just a few days before my departure. I flew home that night to be with dad and stayed with him for a few days until I had to leave for Peru on business. It was so good to see him again and we stayed up late reminiscing about my grandfather, in particular, and about life, in general.

I had not been home since early May and it was so good to bury myself into my parents' arms and feel loved and supported. I'm lucky because it's always been this way with them. They've always been there for me, without question or hesitation. You see, I haven't been home to see my family since early May and that was under difficult circumstances, too, as we grieved together and tried to understand a deep loss which touched all of our heart spaces.

One of the things my grandfather's passing has taught me has been the lesson of grief. It has a funny way of entering one's heart space and, like a fussy relative, can show all that which still needs tidying. So, as I work on honoring the loss of my grandfather, I also honor the losses which preceeded him, taking the good, discarding the bad, and working to forgive everything else.

On a different and happier note, I spent about a week or so in Peru, working in Lima and traveling for pleasure through Cuzco, Machu Picchu, the Sacred Valley of the Incas and several other small villages. It was a trip to remember! The Peruvian people are so hospitable and warm that it was hard to think about leaving both them and Peru's beautiful landscape.

With so much to share, I think I'll spend the rest of this post sharing some poems I wrote about my grandfather's passing, saving pictures and thoughts on Peru for later in the week. Enjoy.

Tidal "Eddie"

she sat and looked out onto the pacific ocean,
observing its familiar rhythm of
swell and retreat
hello and goodbye
arrival and departure.

and from deep within came tears
which merged with the tidal
dance that had carried away
her grandfather.

her lungs became the shore
upon realizing the ocean's absence,
gasping hard for air and
gaining just enough before
fresh waves came to feed her grief.


Generational Movement

on the day her grandfather died,
she felt the earth quake beneath her feet
and she fell to her knees in confusion.

a generational plate had submerged
itself underground and she felt the shift
as a new generation moved to take its place.

she was thrust into a new plane of life --
without choice or consent,

and she picked herself up off the ground
determined to embrace
life without a generation
but knowing intuitively she would add one of her own.


Achy-Breaky Heart

she had ached to be alone
to privately relieve her sadness
but now, in that desired space,
she wished for the comfort of strong arms
and soothing words and joined silence.

the enigma of opposition.

and so it was that her emotions
tossed her back and forth
between the two extremes of her heart space,

searching for equilibrium after
the heartquake which was
her grandfather's passing.

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