Monday, May 5, 2008


Looking upon a lake up in the Beartooths.

Composure apparently means "calmness or repose especially of mind, bearing or appearance". Well, at least that's what Merriam Webster says. I am still trying to draw my own meaning, especially since it is being sorely tested of late.

Is Shunryu Suzuki Roshi correct when he says that "composure" is "to find composure in the face that everything changes"? It feels that way these days.

"Composure" can also mean "putting one's mind together" but is different than "equanimity" which means "with even mind."

Semantics aside, what I know is that I'm trying to regain my composure in the face of great change. Change so deep that I don't know if I will ever be the same again.

These days, I find myself gazing out and trying to see what's now before me given what is now behind me.

Sitting by my tree at Holland Lake, February 2007.

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