And while I have other emotions which are surfacing (and which I'm told is normal), it is sorrow which is most constant, especially on a rainy morning like today's.
The Tao Te Ching tells us in verse 23:
When we completely lose our way, we become one with loss.
When we become one with loss, loss embraces us.
Publicly I may appear stoic, but privately I grieve on my knees, on the floor; prostrate. I can't hold myself anymore. It is in these moments when loss embraces me and the floor or Mother Earth holds me. It may not be what I need, but it leaves me feeling supported, even for just a moment.