Friday, May 9, 2008

Tao Te Ching

Walking through fields of loss, I find I sit down often and cry because I don't know what else to do. The rate at which I am finally beginning to process events which have occurred has almost unhinged me in the last few days because the sorrow is becoming almost unbearable.

And while I have other emotions which are surfacing (and which I'm told is normal), it is sorrow which is most constant, especially on a rainy morning like today's.

The Tao Te Ching tells us in verse 23:

When we completely lose our way, we become one with loss.
When we become one with loss, loss embraces us.

Publicly I may appear stoic, but privately I grieve on my knees, on the floor; prostrate. I can't hold myself anymore. It is in these moments when loss embraces me and the floor or Mother Earth holds me. It may not be what I need, but it leaves me feeling supported, even for just a moment.


Buddhist_philosopher said...

Heya babe, I'm sitting now with Raven and Estha and just had dinner with Larry and Linda; we're here for you. Tomorrow I'll see Jen and Patia too, and I know they support you too.

I know you have reasons for sticking around DC now, but when you decide to return to Montana, know that there are MANY people here ready to GIVE deeply to hold you up.

love, j

Patia said...

Oh, honey. Hang in there. We are holding a space for you here.

Kelly McGannon said...

Thanks, Patia!!!

Kelly McGannon said...

Thanks, J. I know that is a true statement. I also know that I will return to Montana someday soon. It is home and even though I am HERE, I know that one day I will be THERE. Love, K